CONS

One of America’s most divisive musical acts is once again raising alarm bells from coast to coast. This time, however, the controversy is not the usual fare of drug arrests and kidnappings, but rather politics. Vermont-based rock group The Phish, sometimes referred to as simply “Phish” by diehard fans, is unscrupulously throwing its support behind the Occupy Wall Street riots with a series of concerts planned for New York City’s Times Square this holiday season. These performances are meant to commemorate the hatred of traditional values engendered in the violent protests that erupted in depressed urban areas earlier in the year.

In point of fact, these Phish shows promise to be a dangerous mix of sexual indulgence, marijuana crime and anti-American lyrical messages pumped out to audiences at ear-splitting levels. It is the decidedly treasonous nature of this heavy metal band’s show that surely deserves the attention of concerned parents and authorities alike.

Unlike other music stars who would be satisfied with a single event, the Phish has somehow forced its way into a four-night run at Manhattan’s biggest sports venue. Worse still, this erratically rancid rockfest will take place during the busiest time of the year, from Christmas to New Year’s Eve. Even more shocking, these concerts are aimed at children who should otherwise be spending time with their families. The end result is that the Phish are openly encouraging youths today to turn their backs on their mothers and fathers, on the birthday of the Baby Jesus, to congregate in a crime-ridden inner city for a 100-hour tour of the depths of depravi profound carnal deviancy and secret plots to terrorize patriotism.